Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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