Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
third nipple confirmed
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize