I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
