i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
