What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
