so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
