Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
