i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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