after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
