Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.

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(727): View more from Florida

Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van

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(847): View more from Illinois

Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life

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(972): View more from Texas

Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving

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(703): View more from Virginia

So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)

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(+32): View more from Belgium

we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump

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(505): View more from New Mexico

It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?

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