Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
