it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
