the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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