I just saw a hot homeless man
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well I just put wine in my tea
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
