You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
