Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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