You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
