the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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