I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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