go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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