i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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