somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
