they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
