Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
