And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
