Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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