She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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