id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
