how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize