Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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