its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My bed smells like the plague
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
