Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
