so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sorry about my life...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
