I'm really into asian looking animals
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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