After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
