I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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