Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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