handjob tips. give me some.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
