something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize