HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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