i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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