There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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