He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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