Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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