Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
