I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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