Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
