she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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