I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
