Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
