We need to rekindle our bromance
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize