Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
