Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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