If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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