Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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