Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
