Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
