He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
