Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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