So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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