dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
