Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
