im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
