Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
