some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
