You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
