Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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