all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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