I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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